Jess talking about a little kissin': PDA

How many of you love the sight of a happy couple? From  a mile away you see this couple hand & hand and their body language speaks "we go together", you have fallen in love with them and if they were any closer you might say they were a cute couple, he leans in to kiss his lady and even gives her a nice tap on the ass, while you may not say: "awwww" you continue with your day and may even tweet about "Love being in the air". However, imagine you look to your right and in your sight are two men or two girls that are kissing and ass grabbing! You feel some type of way, so you pull out your phone, cut the flash off, and in 40s you have blasted this couple on Instagram with hella hashtags like #thatsnasty #getaroom. If you didn't physically do it, you may have those thoughts in your head...all because of your preconceived idea of what public displays of affection (PDA) should look like...

Ahh Yes, PDA. according to John Legend: "some jess don't care"... while others  feel that PDA is inappropriate depending on the person partaking in it and how much affection is actually going on. PDA is a topic discussed by many; however, not many discuss whether they dislike it because of WHO is doing it rather than the act. I asked around to get a consensus on why PDA makes people uncomfortable and why sexual preference may influence their level of distaste. My search pretty much taught me a lesson. People that chose to live a homosexual lifestyles shouldn't be categorized based on MY thoughts of how I think PDA affects people, hence my example above. To set it straight, the act of inappropriate and excessive kissing, humping, and groping in public is what sets people off.

I asked some people what type of PDA made them most uncomfortable, many said male on male OR the "Rachet lets F***K right now" type of action. What makes us as a society so uncomfortable with homosexual acts of affection? Is it because we are not use to seeing it? Is it because we are slightly homophobic? Or are some jess not comfortable seeing people of the same orientation liking on each other? One person said two men made them the most uncomfortable not because it was two men but because they were the group that made it the most horrific to watch! "It was such an extra experience too much tongue and grinding"---I'm sayin'...I'm uncomfortable at the thought of this, jess by listening to that it seems weird. Why does PDA have to be soooo Extra? Maybe to show that you really love shay-shay or that you want the world to know, you're not scared to show the world that you will love on your boo anywhere...but would you mind keeping it classy?

I think another issue with PDA is that although the name is PUBLIC folks are out of control...doing it in the wrong places, a restaurant for example, lets jess say hmm for you fanciful folks Golden Corral LMAO---Now you know there is nothing really romantical about this establishment so why on earth is it necessary to tongue down your partner over all-you-can-eat steak? No need to harass his or her booty cheeks while waiting in the chocolate fountain line...and most importantly there are children around for goodness sake!Would you want your child taking those behaviors to recess? [Think about who watches you--even those that don't know you] Now a more sensible place could be the movies--dark yet the person behind you still sees the peck--HOWEVER, no need to have others around you missing scenes from a movie because you all are trying to create a part 2 and adding a whole new soundtrack!---it is jess rude. A nice steak house or fanciful restaurant might put you in the mood to salute your loved one...but keep it classy---I'm Jess Sayin!

Surprisingly, by one of my reader's I was described as a hater: "I'm not offended by any type of PDA but you sound like a hater, why does it matter to you what someone else is doing at their table?" WELL SHUT ME UP THEN OTIS! HMP [HE TOLD ME] I don't think of it as hating, I think of it as rude I'm trying to enjoy my all-you-can-eat experience and you over here given Shaquille Sunflower a preview to y'all desert menu! Here is a thought, say it is a first date, if they will tongue you down how many others will they be willing to do it to?--HERP is real... I'm Jess Sayin

Some of you may wonder why I thought to ask people their opinion on homosexual PDA. 1. Because I Can. 2. Because I ask and talk about the shit a lot of your asses think, and  3. I'm comfortable in my sexuality and I can ask questions about another's preference because that is what curious people do! [YEAH I JESS CHECKED ALL YOU HATERS] [POW]
I did learn from this experience, public displays of affection  no matter WHO is doing it, can make someone uncomfortable; it isn't because someone is gay that it makes it more wack than HOW it is being done. Some people that I asked do have an opinion about homosexuality because of religion, psych, or personal opinions of what something is suppose to look like and everyone is entitled to their own ideas about it. I jess so happen to have learned a lesson today: it isn't WHO is doing it, it is HOW you do it and fortunately for some, they will never get it because of their own personal limitations..but hey what do I know---I'm Jess Sayin'

Y'all Jess Lazy Dating

  Ladies, what is the first thing you think of when a man asks you to come chill at his crib? Be honest, depending on how you all met and what your relationship is you could think he jess wants to smash! What if he hits you up saying "Lets hang out at my crib" do you consider that a date? I've come up with this theory that the dating scene is lazy: men are lazy daters and their dating "initiatives" lack luster and women have jess allowed men to do whatever they want. Not only is there a lack of creativity; there is a lack for actual DOING something besides DOING each other.[Jess callin' it how I see it!] I surveyed the masses in a quick text-search (text research) and got the opinions of men and women on what "hanging out" and "chilling" can mean; followed by their  purpose of the "chill/hang out". I asked everyone the same open ended question: "Is "hanging out or come over to chill" considered a date". I intentionally left it open ended to give people room to answer freely.

The responses I got from most were "it depends on the situation"--others felt strongly that neither can count as a date. Today's dating scene has become the "lets chill nation" and that is lazy. One of my participants said, she can "hang out" with her friends and if you want to "chill" your probably after some of her goodie pot. She feels like a man should spend some cash--not because she is a gold digger but because she is looking for certain traits: is he cheap, is he creative, how thoughtful was he with their date agenda?

Some of the gentlemen I asked did feel that hanging out at their place could qualify as a date, if done right. "If I cook her dinner, we watch movies, and drink wine...then that is a date"--I agree if the ambiance is perfect and I feel like I'm at Chataeu de la Pookie's then YES this qualifies as a date. BUT if you got the struggle paper goods out, you didn't clean up, or your not "playing" the role---that unfortunately is a date too its jess a HELL DATE [LOL]  But seriously, if you jess call La-Quinta up and say hey sexy come over I'm trying to chill---what is she suppose to think? Granted, some of you ladies need to be less loose with the snatch and more vocal and clear about what you want. --I'm Jess sayin! Its simple, find out what the chill plan is--before you get over there and get all offended when he is trying to grab some of your sweet pot.

Most of the women that participated in the "text search" agreed that by taking them out, they feel like you actually took the time to think about what they were gonna do on the date. A lot of them thought it is wack to keep inviting them over to the crib to jess chill.Others did think chilling was acceptable after maybe 3-4 public dates. By then you would've probably had multiple phone & text interaction and been out in public with one another more than a few times. Now what happens at the chill is up to you and  The Lord.[HE SEES ALL]--Amen?

 Now, some women set their standards too low. Stop saying everything is a date when it isn't.  Have some say so about yourself, jess because he buys you some buttery popcorn and a ice cold strawberry pop doesn't mean y'all on a date boo boo. Stimulate his mind, have him thinking Damn La-Quinta is different.If you are jess like any other chick why would he want to date you; and vice versa if your jess like her ex Ray-Ray why would she want to date you? Lastly, many claimed based on the person can determines their intentions---a lot of times you don't THINK your going to have sex at the chill but if it happens your OK with that too...Apparently this concept is brought to you by adulthood. [Oh wee..no comment]

My personal opinion. Dating is weird. It takes the right person to make the "hanging/chilling" special; however, that comes with time, as you guys read from my hell date post---GOTS to be mo careful out here because some folks are messed up in the head. I also believe that you have to "earn" the right to sit up in my face and sometimes the "lets chill" comes too early--let me clarify what I mean when I say "earn" the right (NO OLIVIA POPE syndrome here) I mean respect that I like to be treated a certain type of way, then make your way into my "face" by showing me we don't have to sit up in the house watching cable and eating up groceries! I'm Jess Sayin, I can eat and watch my own damn TV by myself, to have someone there too is nice BUT don't get it twisted it isn't a necessity.Dating can be tricky; overall, as I usually say do what makes you happy--jess stop saying "He/She ain't shit" on your facebook, instagram, whats app status, youtube, vevo, twitter, make a whole pic-stitch  when you have been properly warned of "ain't shit" signs. Chilling at his crib is not a first, second, or third date and hanging out (depending on your interruption) is a date. I don't know too much about nothing..but ---I'm Jess Sayin'.

Interracial Dating: I'm Jess Sayin!

I know most of you all are over the topic of interracial dating...well TOO bad because I've got to add my 3 cents! So I know someone that married a white man, I have a few amigos that date outside their race, (majority white men), and I have a few homeboys that date and married women outside of their race. I also know a few that have become Latin lovers; and while I think Heidi Klum and Seal were bout the UGLIEST couple---it isn't because he black and she is white it is mainly

because that man is MUG...I jess find him to be incredibly unattractive...I could care less of the fact that they are different races. Anyway, all and all in 2013, y'all will date anybody and there is nothing wrong with that....

Now, before you think I'm gonna go on some "black empowerment tour" slow your roll...I don't have an issue with who people date. I honestly don't give a shit LOL Don't get it twisted, I'm not the type to think you should only date within your race; afterall, a man can be crazy as brown, white, pink, or purple...and so can a woman.
However, I do think dating outside your race does change the "WAY" you treat people of your same race. I'm only speaking from my interactions...

For example, Beth..she's black and she married a white man and to say the least she is kept very well. Beth works every day and she isn't a stay at home mom, but if she wanted to be she could be. Super cool person, but sometimes when we talk she always wants to discuss "sista" things like "oh girl where did you buy your weave from, it never looks fake" or Oh I need another sista around who understands my nappy roots type deal... And while we cool or whatever, I feel like she is over compensating because she married a white man---I'm Jess Sayin I didn't know her as a single person, but without me even asking she voluntarily said that she started dating white men because "brothas" weren't doing here right. ---Firstly, the whole "brotha" & "sista" slang is so played out I get frustrated no one talks like that anymore or at least not in real life. Secondly, people always voluntarily give info when they think your curious about their life decision. I could care less, of why you date billy bob as long as he's not calling you "the n-bomb" or disrespecting you as a woman--it is all good. Beth, although she is black--tries to "defend" her race by attempting to portray she didn't "sell out"--As crazy as men are, how dare anyone be worried about a "sell out"--I'm Jess Sayin' we've got bigger problems!

I also know a black man who dated black women...then decided to date women of other races. He claims he began dating these girls for a few reasons. 1. He found them attractive. 2. The black women he encountered   jess weren't that poppin. He says the girls he dated; their race did not dictate their attitudes, they give jess as much attitude, bossiness, and sass as any black woman can give.

Of course the stereotype that black men like to date women of other races to control them and to be cared for by them but this guy didn't feel that way. He really says he Jess happened to be attracted to a woman that wasn't black . Although he says his attitude toward black women isn't different, he mentioned how he gets more attention from white women. So my thought is this, are you asserting yourself enough to be noticed by black women or is it jess a personal preference to do what is comfortable? Seriously! If I was a guy and all the ladies was jockin' J-mack (because that is clearly what my man name would be) I'd stick to what I know..Easy play. No hard work. Still score! --I'm Jess Sayin!

I also have a friend that only dates Latino women, Cletus. He says he prefers to date Latin girls because they are "more understanding", he jess thinks they are "so sexy", and they usually come from two parent households  which he believes makes them are easier to talk to.--But from reality TV [I KNOW RATCHET EXAMPLES, SO!]..my favorite station VH1 to be exact got the latino shawty, Erica Mena acting a hot cray mess and from what I have heard about Latino women is: they will treat you good--but if you do them wrong they go American Psycho on your ass...[YIKES Be careful cletus]-- I know all women are crazy---I'm Jess Sayin'

My personal opinion is this when you date outside your race--whether you'd like to admit it or not, there is a tiny bit of insecurity followed by compensation. Also, some date outside their race because it is easier. Men say women are hard to understand and African American women are harder and that sterotype is so damn old, I really wish y'all would find something else to say about us...LOL--I'm not hating I'm Jess Sayin'. Whatever you are into, short, tall, fat, skinty, black, white, asian, mexican, bi-polar, hyper, happy, or sad. Do your thing...This love thing isn't an easy road. Do your thing, .and Jess do it for love!

I'm Jess Curious...

 

I'm Jess Curious....Why is it that both men and women talk trash about each other once all the loving is over with? This goes for people that were in serious relationships to those that were Jess kicking it. I'll tell you why, it is the act of not keeping it real, it is viral and I'm telling you that it has got to stop. To be honest, it is quite hilarious at some of the things I run across Jess scrolling on Facebook and Twitter.I was on Facebook minding my own Facebook business and ran across a status that said ""B****your P[secret place] stank anyway"--now the question I have for this young man is WELL, WHY DID YOU sleep with the stank box then? Being bitter is not cute, no matter how upset smelly shelly made you! In efforts to make her look bad you yourself Mr, have made yourself look like a fool! --I'm Jess Sayin' If she had spoiled cookies before you still decided to sleep with her and it is only now that you decide to put her on blast. WHO becomes the biggest loser? He LOST. No matter how you want to play the chick, you smashed smelly shakeykey--I'm Jess Curious why telling Facebook she smells helps your character, you clearly don't value your goods enough so you should of exited stage left or told her! [KEEP CALM AND TELL HER SHE IS FOUL]

Ladies, y'all do it to.. I was watching Love and Hip Hop New York's most recent reunion show and the red-headed chile, Rashidah Ali [pictured to the left] says Mendecee (another Cast member, Yandy's Fiance) has a little penis. Baby girl, YOU STILL ENGAGED in activities with the little pen pen...So if it were small upon review WHY did you decide to follow thru and for lack of better words "waste a number"? Who in the end wins, not you so why blast Mendecee? ---I'm Jess Curious, because you clearly slept with him multiple times so don't get on television and act like you have an issue with small penis now! Rashidah  claimed proudly that the two of them dated. She made it very clear that he wasn't someone she Jess slept with. But now that it is over what perfect timing to insult this man's secret package?? Nahh...Get it together he wins you lose-I'm Jess Sayin'
 and I'm Jess Curious why keeping it real with yourself is so hard. Don't be bitter now. If you were truly dissatisfied in the small penis presentation jess politely get a headache or a stomach ache or low sugar count say SOMETHING and bounce on his ass. Don't have sex. Waste your time or most importantly boo boo sweat out your RED $1,000 a bundle weave. Because at the end of the day. HE SMASHED. SO HE WINS.--I'm Jess Sayin'

Another person that irritates me  with his lame ass is Ray J. His new single "I hit it first" is trash, but furthermore, are you proud of your accomplishment with that boring ass sex tape that made Kim K. RICHER THAN YOU!!!??? LOL Silly Rabbit tricks are for kids..You put a chick on the map, so now because Kim K's unborn chile is gonna be richer than you will ever be you mad? Don't. Be. Bitter! Everyone knows she is easier than ramen in the microwave ---So like what? Did you want props for "hitting it first"...If you were smart you would of made that slime box sign a contract. Now Kim K Jess out here making money, while you google her on TMZ and make rap songs about someone that dated you a trillion years ago...CLASSY..
       Keep it real y'all. I'm Jess Curious how "Putting someone on blast" isn't putting yourself on blast first! Don't be the person that talks trash about someone you use to smash or date. You end up looking crazy. Being bitter about a situation doesn't make you over it. Because clearly, RJ silly behind doesn't know how to let go. Speaking ill of a va-jay-jay or pen pen may not be beneficial for either of them but in the end, if you still hit it you look worse because you were warned on contact and still decided to "hit it anyway". Don't be surprised if I drop a mix tape entitled: "You hit it anyway", if RJ can do it, I most definitely got them bars---I'm Jess Sayin! LOL