Y'all Jess Lazy Dating

  Ladies, what is the first thing you think of when a man asks you to come chill at his crib? Be honest, depending on how you all met and what your relationship is you could think he jess wants to smash! What if he hits you up saying "Lets hang out at my crib" do you consider that a date? I've come up with this theory that the dating scene is lazy: men are lazy daters and their dating "initiatives" lack luster and women have jess allowed men to do whatever they want. Not only is there a lack of creativity; there is a lack for actual DOING something besides DOING each other.[Jess callin' it how I see it!] I surveyed the masses in a quick text-search (text research) and got the opinions of men and women on what "hanging out" and "chilling" can mean; followed by their  purpose of the "chill/hang out". I asked everyone the same open ended question: "Is "hanging out or come over to chill" considered a date". I intentionally left it open ended to give people room to answer freely.

The responses I got from most were "it depends on the situation"--others felt strongly that neither can count as a date. Today's dating scene has become the "lets chill nation" and that is lazy. One of my participants said, she can "hang out" with her friends and if you want to "chill" your probably after some of her goodie pot. She feels like a man should spend some cash--not because she is a gold digger but because she is looking for certain traits: is he cheap, is he creative, how thoughtful was he with their date agenda?

Some of the gentlemen I asked did feel that hanging out at their place could qualify as a date, if done right. "If I cook her dinner, we watch movies, and drink wine...then that is a date"--I agree if the ambiance is perfect and I feel like I'm at Chataeu de la Pookie's then YES this qualifies as a date. BUT if you got the struggle paper goods out, you didn't clean up, or your not "playing" the role---that unfortunately is a date too its jess a HELL DATE [LOL]  But seriously, if you jess call La-Quinta up and say hey sexy come over I'm trying to chill---what is she suppose to think? Granted, some of you ladies need to be less loose with the snatch and more vocal and clear about what you want. --I'm Jess sayin! Its simple, find out what the chill plan is--before you get over there and get all offended when he is trying to grab some of your sweet pot.

Most of the women that participated in the "text search" agreed that by taking them out, they feel like you actually took the time to think about what they were gonna do on the date. A lot of them thought it is wack to keep inviting them over to the crib to jess chill.Others did think chilling was acceptable after maybe 3-4 public dates. By then you would've probably had multiple phone & text interaction and been out in public with one another more than a few times. Now what happens at the chill is up to you and  The Lord.[HE SEES ALL]--Amen?

 Now, some women set their standards too low. Stop saying everything is a date when it isn't.  Have some say so about yourself, jess because he buys you some buttery popcorn and a ice cold strawberry pop doesn't mean y'all on a date boo boo. Stimulate his mind, have him thinking Damn La-Quinta is different.If you are jess like any other chick why would he want to date you; and vice versa if your jess like her ex Ray-Ray why would she want to date you? Lastly, many claimed based on the person can determines their intentions---a lot of times you don't THINK your going to have sex at the chill but if it happens your OK with that too...Apparently this concept is brought to you by adulthood. [Oh wee..no comment]

My personal opinion. Dating is weird. It takes the right person to make the "hanging/chilling" special; however, that comes with time, as you guys read from my hell date post---GOTS to be mo careful out here because some folks are messed up in the head. I also believe that you have to "earn" the right to sit up in my face and sometimes the "lets chill" comes too early--let me clarify what I mean when I say "earn" the right (NO OLIVIA POPE syndrome here) I mean respect that I like to be treated a certain type of way, then make your way into my "face" by showing me we don't have to sit up in the house watching cable and eating up groceries! I'm Jess Sayin, I can eat and watch my own damn TV by myself, to have someone there too is nice BUT don't get it twisted it isn't a necessity.Dating can be tricky; overall, as I usually say do what makes you happy--jess stop saying "He/She ain't shit" on your facebook, instagram, whats app status, youtube, vevo, twitter, make a whole pic-stitch  when you have been properly warned of "ain't shit" signs. Chilling at his crib is not a first, second, or third date and hanging out (depending on your interruption) is a date. I don't know too much about nothing..but ---I'm Jess Sayin'.