I Jess Wish Y'all Weren't So Stupid

What's Poppin!!!
 So, I have been seeing some foolery to the tenth power! I'm Jess Sayin--I can no longer be silent! We live in a meme, Youtube, Instagram fame whore society. From "I'm legally blind I can not see..P.O.P. hol it down" to Peaches Monroe who is "On fleek"?? I'm still lost with that one but whatever! Everyday there is some new Insta fame, [the birds are chirpin' good morning to you] I can keep going but what I am most especially tired of is the Insta-models that are certified expired warrantied---HOES... [I'm Jess Sayin], I'm exhausted by their "fake" appeal and their addiction to attention. BUT do you know what really keeps them going? YOUR DUMB ASS...[HUH?] Yes, all of you that continuously glorify theses women AND men. No clue what I'm talking about? So for example, If she can sit her ASS on a bathroom counter and I can see her lil pannies..and shes got 1039123 likes she isn't the one bruh, that can't be potential bae [HOW SWAY? HOW?] If he can proudly participate in Eggplant Friday and LOL at all the comments and thirsty emojis...that FOOL isn't the one either, if his penis print can be on the internet and he is claiming to be in a whole relationship, baby-boo it couldn't be with you, its with Instagram. So I jess wish y'all weren't so stupid...

If you think her flash back Friday picture in her t-shirt and pannies from many many weeks ago is to really jess show that she has lost weight [Side eye emoji], trust me she is screaming attention whore and [I jess wish you weren't so stupid]. I don't give a damn if this person can cook, sew, make a baby, and work a full time job, and save your animal from a burning building...Yes, girl--I'm calling you a hoe Yes, boy--I'm calling you a very parched man and slightly tambourine-ish [yes tambourine-ish]. I think for a man to post body parts on the internet and you aren't a body builder/trainer/REAL underwear model--you're sketchy bro, it doesn't take a picture of your penis online to get girls...action speaks louder than Penis..I'm Jess Sayin, check out Y'all Jess Lyin' I've written about this before!Anywho, while those thirst trappers may not "get it" but you YES you person reading this post jess don't be stupid and fall for it, what you see is what you get!

 This is coming from a place of Jess Sayin--not love because I don't know ya like [LOL].I jess want to put it in perspective for y'all and this is going to sound very old school but when your kids get older how are you going to explain your dick print on the internet daddy? You are not Kim Kardashian-West Mom why are your tatas online but you were saying you were tired from a long day of work? [I'm Jess Asking] is that a conversation you want to have with your child? I'm jess asking and pleading that you stop making these insta-models and craig list killers your "MCM or WCW" because women and men holler that they want respect but in the same breathe will holler empowerment and that is jess some Bullshii, what about your breast or penis show empowerment or the default "its jess "art"? I'm not saying stop perming your hair, stop wearing deodorant, and stop shaving under our arms because [that is jess nasty] I'm jess sayin, stop justifying foolery and stop praising these thotties! Have you ever noticed someone that has an exclusive social media page, meaning if their picture doesn't get 100+ likes the photo magically disappears in a few days? Hmmm is that real life? Stop feeding social media egos,truth be told all that fake twerkin' they posting on the internet probably means they are boring in them sheets [I'm Jess Sayin] ... But again y'all jess stop being stupid. Stop making these people Bae, Wifey, Hubby, hell many of these folks don't even deserve the title of side piece! Jess be aware and pay attention because dating all these insta-models will and can ruin relationships that these people shouldn't have been in to begin with!


But again, Y'all know the drill... I don't know Shiii... I'm Jess Sayin!!! Until next time folks!!!

A Moment of Silence...for the Hoe Moment

What's Poppinnn!!!! So, I'm jess going to hop right into the topic for the evening...I have been holding on to this post for a very long time. I wasn't sure if it was something I wanted to even discuss because more times than not women are exploited; however, the gig is up. We have been exposed and after all damn it I'm Jess Sayin! I'm sure a lot of ladies may feel some type of way about this post; but unfortunately, I don't write about shit that everyone likes. No exceptions. So let's talk about this hoe moment, like any other thing that I claim; I try to back it up. I believe that every girl has [had] a hoe phase. [SAY WHAT!?] YUP!
Where do I begin [sigh] because we[women] are all so complicated, it takes us a moment to have our "hoe-piphany" (The realization that you potentially lived or participated in the HOE realm during some point of your adult life). Most times you reflect on your moment after the alleged hoe phase is over, you could be in this phase for a very long time and not even realize it! 

[Jess A Disclaimer]

...Hoe phases vary based on the chick. I'm not saying all women are Hoes. Every girl hasn't slept around, smashed the homies, or been a total tramp; but every girl has done her dirt. #FACT. Sorry ladies! Truth is truth and I can't expose men and not expose us too! [I Jess Don't Roll Like That ]

[A Hoe Moment is simply, a time in your life when you jess didn't really care. PERIOD.]

 There are a variety of reasons why many have their hoe moments. I'll explain the most common type of hoe phases.. Type1: Sheltered Shakeykey Type 2: Free Fio-Nicka, and Type 3: Angry Anju'wanay (it's French) LMAO 

Type 1: Sheltered Shakeykey type, probably grew up in a well-to-do home. Shakeykey was in the choir, had very strict rules, and probably wasn't exposed to many things as a child or a teenager. Well hunny when Shakeykey gets that first taste of freedom she can either balance it or she can jess go buck wild! Shakeykey types are sensitive though...she usually calms down after her first Facebook, frat house, or gossip girl  scandal. Eventually, she calms all the way down. Sheltered Shakeykey can be tamed once she's in a relationship; however, she probably won't look back at her "hoe moment" until shes happy in her relationship praying to sweet baby Jesus that her secrets aren't ever exposed. [Jess Be Like That Sometimes.. The Worry Be Real]

Sheltered Shakeykey either comes clean to the boo about her girl gone wild moment[s] or jess throws that shit in the closet hoping nobody reveals her skeletons...But lets be real, we've all learned the hard way: omitting is jess as bad as a lying. [Jess Keep It Real] 

Type 2: Free Fio-Nicka type could have been one of those girls that was captain of the chess team, all American player,  and had the perfect high school relationship! Oh yeah she was probably voted most likely to succeed and could have been prom queen; she was the shit! Oh but deep down Fio-nicka is tired of being in the spotlight! No matter how her relationship ended this girl is finally "free" of commitment. 

 Fio is jess getting her life, she has been with the same guy for so long she is jess fine with exploring all her options! She is on some Dora the explorer! She is discovering what all the hype is about with the single life and to be quite frank "she loves this shit!" [in my August Alsina voice]! This type of girl literally is jess enjoying without regret. There isn't anything wrong with enjoying, jess be careful! [STDs don't know you by name boo] While Fio-Nicka is enjoying herself many around are like what is she on? She jess busy getting her life. Now, Fio-nicka isn't necessarily out here being a garden tool (hoe) and by that I mean adding up her body count although there are some chicks like that...Fio could have a roster and things. She could be a pimp.. She could be a sex worker. Each case is different.  Yeah-- not condoning or judging Jess Sayin she does exist and her multiple personalities!

Of course, Type 3 the "angry woman" Angry Anju'wanay who we will call NayNay for short. She has been cheated

on, lied to, mistreated, and damn it she has decided she is jess going to "do her" --whatever that ever meant! Chile NayNay is jess tired and doesn't care about the judgment or the whispers. This type of woman is in a space where she obviously been threw some real shit...but because she has been done so wrong by a few knuckle heads she jess does a total 180 and plans her hoe moment... Does it possibly give her a name? Sure. NayNay is not worried. In fact she feels entitled to have this moment of sexual liberation.

Every woman has a right to have a "moment". Why? Because some men have moments for 365 days, years, decades, and centuries! So I'm pretty sure you can forgive our garden tools ways as we forgive you all [men]. Women do most things based off of how we feel: curiosity, emotion, or unconcerned with opinions....

Ladies, are you pissed because the verdict is out (I can guarantee I'm not the first to say it) or agreeing silently? I bet...none of you will comment with what type of phase you went through though...[Jess Sayin]


Y'all can shake your head in disagreement or in disgust. Y'all know it is true! Have a moment of silence for the hoe moment...As always, I don't know shit... [I'm Jess Sayin] 

They Don't Heal...Men Jess Hoe

What's poppin!!!!! So I was listening to the old folk radio a few weeks ago [I can't take y'all hippidy hop music sometimes] and as I'm movin' and groovin' to the late great Michael Jackson, the DJ comes back on to discuss a gentleman by the name of Steven James Dixon who happens to be discussing his new book entitled "Men Don't Heal We Ho" NOW I'm not promoting his book I Jess thought it was an interesting title that I happen to agree with.. So on that note, I'm feelin' it... Dixon however takes a few different angles...."A boy never seeing his mom experience true love as a child".. [blah blah blah] he speaks about the emotional instability of men....how y'all never "heal from one situation before jumping into another"....[Jess A Disclaimer:I haven't read the book so I can't attack this man...but I've got a few theories of my own] So here I go...Men don't heal simply because they don't want to. Yeah, I'm sure it has everything to do with his psyche and all that other jazz but it is Jess that simple; y'all don't heal because you don't want to. Why? Numero 1: It is Jess easier....why not have a wife, main chick, side chick, and a few baby mamas who all satisfy you in different ways? There are 84,000 more females than males in Chicago ALONE....that is more than 5% more chicks than guys...SO BASICALLY THEY HAVE OPTIONS....I'm not sayin' it is fair...I'm Jess sayin' it is what it is...
Numero 2 :. They are still scarred from their very first heart breaking relationship and they refuse to deal with it EVER... Numero 3: I'm sure quite popular and most accurate, some of y'all Jess hoe because you can. You've never been wronged. You've never dealt with heartache. You Jess enjoy the idea of having whatever you want when you want.[Jess Nasty]

For the man that believes it is Jess easy, it is not that you don't want to be faithful or that you don't know how to be faithful you Jess have it way too easy and jess do it and quite honestly..the chicks you pull should have stayed a secret..[Jess Sayin] You baggin' chicks but they aren't exactly the most easy on the eyes! [BUT SHE GOT BODY BRO]But that makes you the shit right? Nah bruh bruh... I mean I'm sure if there were 84,000 more males than females it would be the same thing.... But y'all Jess got lucky is all. It is like you all won a hidden treasure but everything that you find isn't going to shine like gold or silver trust there are a few copper pennies in that number...

For Pook-Pook that is Jess soooo heartbroken about Chardonn'asia cheating on you...Please do me a favor and take that man cry somewhere else please man up! Y'all give women shit all day long about being an angry woman and carrying the trust issues from her last relationship into her new relationship but y'all won't even face the facts that some of you guys do it too. Every girl isn't the same and every girl isn't a heart breaker. DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY WOMEN WANT TO BE MARRIED?? DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY WANT TO REPRODUCE Y'ALL BAD ASS KIDS??? She is out there for you.... Jess stop using the same story  about catching your 9th grade girlfriend behind the bleachers  as an excuse to get the pannies...COME ON...Pook you are 30+ GROW A PAIR!! [I'm Jess Being Honest] Don't be a whore on the account that you don't want to face the facts of being a teenager..[GETTING REJECTED]. Although men don't change too much from high school and college..there is SOME growth..LOL So Jess think about how much a woman may have grown too..LOL


Lastly, Sweet Baby Jesus in a small tiny blanket, if I have to hear that you hoe because you can be one more time!!!! BE A HOE.. TEACH OTHER Weirdos how to be a hoe...Jess do it with some class! Y'all Jess pick the first thing that walks and says she has a job and no kids...I bet you didn't verify where she works...you'll end up with a street walker...[Jess Sayin] I bet you ain't ask to see how she is living?? You show up to the crib for the first time and end up on her air mattress at the end of the night! LMAO Jess no class...No class at all! I'm Jess asking  for y'all to have some morals... I can't convince y'all not to be hoes...Jess be a hoe, but be a honest hoe. Shoot now-a-days some women sign up to be the side piece... They don't mind playing second , third, or fourth to shinka-shay... I'm Jess Sayin' that y'all aren't out here innocent...

I'm not on here to tell y'all how to live. In fact, I could really care less about your hoe-ism I Jess know what I know, y'all don't ever "heal" from previous relationships...you Jess move on to the next one and Hoe. Y'all don't take accountability in the rehabilitation process at all...All Sweet Box isn't good Sweet Box.. All chicks that can cook aren't meant to be your boo and Jess because she has good Peruvian body wave hair doesn't mean she has it together either! Many males between 23-32 years old are grinding. I get that. Thinking about careers and "making" it happen for themselves, but in the meantime y'all Jess hoe and while you all are busy sticking the peanut brittle where ever you are passing up all the girls that could be with you through the grind... Only thirsty and ignorant females can't respect and understand the "grind" of getting your life together. Honestly, you should be grinding together that way it is understood... Meanwhile we all know the double standard exists, I couldn't tell a chick to Hoe...Although there are phases called the Hoe Moment...But I'm Jess Sayin that is for another blog another day! Anyway, I don't know shit..I'm Jess Talking Shit... I'm JESS SAYIN... Keep it classy...HOE [HA]