Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Its The Year Of The Side Chicks: Y'all Jess Might Be Winning!

Whats poppin y'all!!!! Happy New Year and all that other jazz! Took some time off [yeah I know I ain't shit] Get over it but... I'M BACK! Anyway, y'all been acting a fool since my last post, I've been observing and man you all have given me more to write about than I can ever imagine! I'm jess sayin y'all been cutting up especially you side chicks! I mean the entitlement is real, you all went from being a well-kept secret to entertaining the fact that you are legitimately okay with being someone's side dish instead of the 4-course meal and to me chile that is jess crazy! I'm mean you side hussies been going hard in 2013 and have continued in 2014--y'all jess might be winning!!! Now the side chick contamination isn't new, there are plenty of old heauxs; but now that we have Ratchet Monday Love and Hip Hop, Mary Jane Tuesdays, and lastly the all mighty Scandalous Thursdays you heauxs have really been given LIFE! [SMH] Y'all jess parade around as if it is normal to be the work ford pick up truck instead of the luxury e-class Benz! However, I'm going to have to give it to y'all you scally muffins are winning! [Yasss *Does A Weave Pat*] .....at least on TV you are so let me ask you this; how was the side chick Thanksgiving, side chick Christmas, or side chick New Years? What did king bae bring you? [AW] Did your resolutions involve "Being so done with him"? [Yeah...I bet]...

As much as I hate to admit it, I must give the TV side chicks a [fake] round of applause. Love and Hip Hop got side chicks becoming side wives..Mary Jane got him proposing before he is even divorced and Ms. Pope is getting houses in Vermont from the President! While this is reality television many of you somehow believe that your suitor will be leaving his committed situation because it happens on TV; but again I ask you Shinkneesha how was your holidays with the bae? Don't worry I'll jess wait right here for your story! [RIGHT] NOW...Back to the wayward  "winners" of 2014, don't ever think for a moment that jess because you get dinner, movies, side chicks gifts, a little quality time, and because you possibly spend the night that he is going to leave his life to be with you. The most bizarre aspect of the situation is some of you are FAITHFUL side hoes to these men because you believe he will one day leave his situation for you. [Jess Silly] NEWS FLASH...nobody leaves a California King bed to go sleep in a Twin Sized bed permanently it jess doesn't happen and if it does it probably doesn't last long.
Now I love me some Mary Jane Olivia Pope acting--but these women don't exist in this shit we call real ass life and if they do they are low key and paid well to be quiet mistresses, I don't condone the side chick life LET ME SAY THAT AGAIN I don't condone the side chick life but if you are going to do it--don't do it for a date at TGIFridays and a pair of Aldo Platform nude pumps I'm Jess Sayin, you're worth more or maybe not...!
 Olivia Pope is sleeping with the president for crying out loud y'all heauxs be sleeping with BoodaMane of Get Money ENT this is NOT the same thing hunny boo boo child! You are losing!!! What is the purpose of the side chick movement, so you can remove the hashtag #Teamsingle  and replace it with #Itakeyourman on your social media profiles? Hunny I'm sure he isn't even worth it. In fact, I can guarantee he isn't worth it. No sex can be that amazing that you can't let it go...LET IT GO..that male body part does not even belong to you! We get so wrapped up in social media that we tend to forget that you can't really use Mary Jane as an explanation of why you decided to be a real life hoe. Nor can you use celebrities and their "announced drama" as legit leverage that it is Okay either. You are not dating Ludacris or Dwayne Wade--and even then we don't know the whole story.. Lastly, think about this is the man even worth it? Most men, that are about that commitment life don't have time for your leather leggings and faux eyelashes... their jess isn't enough time in their life. Most men don't even have enough time to please the one woman they have so why in the world would they want more than one??
Y'all also tend to forget about that B-word Karma...ever met her..yeah I heard she plays no games...Jess keep on tryna make it to the side chick Winter Olympics I'm sure you all will meet... Jess keep playing yourself...

[Jess Sayin Disclaimer]
  NOW before someone tries to go all "devils advocate" on me.. Men, no they are not off the hook--but this post isn't for them, its about the women that don't have enough self control to tell these involved dudes no...and it is jess that simple. They will have their day in Jess Sayin Court but until then, please don't get all in your feelings and come for me Jess let me rock!
But again, I don't know much.... I'm Jess Sayin!