Jess A Little More Than Love & Affection....

So I am sure you all have heard the Future & Rihanna song "Love & Affection" and while many of you may think this is all you need to survive. I'm here to tell you, it takes a little bit more than "loveeee" for the long term relationships and marriage. So most of my research begins as a conversation that I usually Jess have with friends and family.
This particular subject came about from several conversations. It was all over the place, Love! Support! Sex! Money! Relationships! Time! My final research ended up wondering, what are the top three things that ruin relationships; I asked random people via twitter [@im_jesssayinso], on the phone, and just asking co-workers.
I discovered that the top three deal breakers in maintaining a successful relationships are support, trust, and coins [For those of you confused by Jess lingo--I mean money]. Yes people! Support, majority said that the lack of support in their relationship would have them checking out. In second came trust--giving the middle finger to the dishonest, and lastly, Money--those that are tired of cashing out on Tyrone or Tyreka!

 So what about support is a deal breaker in a
relationship? It is simple, Jess support the goals and dreams of your partner! If your boo wants to be an Olympic juggler sign him/her up for that competition! One of my fav. home girls said "You need someone to be your cheerleader and he definitely wasn't"! There is nothing worse than the phrase "I expect these things from you"..NO I expect YOU to support me and from THAT achievement you can express your expectation! [SNAPS and does an urban eye roll] Jess so it is clear, I don't always seek advice from women I ask men too and one of the married men I interviewed said that  trust and money can come and go; however, as long as you support each other you will find everything else that you need. So while I love the little ratchet love songs, I definitely agree...it takes a little more than that to keep the REALationship...On that note, one of my friends said something very interesting "Support is something you don't notice until you don't have it"--very true. Having support from your boo thang makes you feel valued and appreciated! Your excited to give that person updates on new developments with your goals and aspirations! No one wants to feel like their news isn't important.




Now, about this trust thing, I'm pretty sure you all expect me to go OFF about this huh? Because I am a woman?  I'm probably angry? NOPE. Everyone no matter who or how you've been done in life has a trust issue. It really Jess comes down to how one handles trusting their partner. The main response I got was Men Lie and Women Lie;[DUH YO Gotti already said that LOL] however, the most important aspect of trust is how does one recover--many answered "Hell I haven't  recovered I'm still single" while some believe in the "innocent until proven guilty"verdict but once they are "crossed" it is game over for that individual. Some people even admit to holding back until they think the person may be worth it. Which in one person's opinion, she realized that holding back can be detrimental and that being open is good. Beginning any situation whether romantic or a friendship without skepticism is best. 

My last deal breaker in this post is about the coins. Now, lets be clear, money does not create happiness in fact "Mo money mo problems" and until I know what it is like to be rich in life--I'll go ahead and agree that money can't fix everything. HOWEVER, NO ONE wants a broke BAE.. But it isn't so much that the person doesn't have money, it could be about how they act with or without money. I also went to a couple different websites and from family- friend evaluation money and financial status is one of the top ten reasons couples divorce. I was wildly shocked at the response, one  relationship really ended over money. One young lady felt like she was being taken advantage of, dating while young and loaning money to her honey boo thang became an issue. He was still in school and she thought, he obviously needs it--well he took advantage of her kindness and turned it into the classic judge Judy case "Well your honor, I thought it was a gift"--shame shame shame on any person that tries to manipulate anyone that held out a lending hand during your time of need. SMH Let us not forget KARMA, we all know she is real.--I'm Jess Sayin.

So, while you Jam to "Love & Affection" and "Your All I Need To Get By" by the Soul Queen Aretha Franklin [Yea.. I Jess went old skool on y'all] Remember... without support, trust, and a clear understanding of coins--- y'all might be singing Bye Bye Baby By Nas... -I'm Jess Sayin...